Slander, Jealousy, and Superior Complexes....not in Islam

Question:
In recent days there has been a lot of slander against those who call people to Islam (daa’iyahs) and dividing them into groups and categories. What is your opinion on that?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

Allaah has enjoined justice and good treatment of others, and He has forbidden wrongdoing, hatred and enmity. Allaah sent His Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) with the same message as He sent all the Messengers, namely the call to Tawheed and to worship of Allaah alone. He commanded him to establish justice and forbade him to do the opposite, i.e., to worship anything other than Allaah, to cause division and to transgress against the rights of others.

In these days it has become very common that people who claim to have knowledge and to be calling people to good slander many of their brothers among the well-known daa’iyahs, and they talk about the seekers of knowledge, daa’iyahs and lecturers. They do that in secret in their own gatherings, but it may be recorded on tapes that are distributed among the people, and they may do it openly in public lectures in the mosques. This behaviour goes against the commands of Allaah and His Messenger in several ways.

1 – It is a transgression against the rights of the Muslims, and against the elite of the people, namely the seekers of knowledge and daa’iyahs who are striving to make the people aware and to teach them and correct their beliefs and practices, and to organize lessons and lectures, and to write beneficial books.

2 – It splits the Muslims and causes division in their ranks. They are the most in need of unity and they need to keep away from division, discord and too much gossip amongst themselves, especially when the daa’iyahs who are being slandered are from among the Ahl al-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa’ah who are well known for their opposition to bid’ah (innovation) and myth, and for standing up against those who promote such things, and for exposing their plots and tricks. We see no benefit to be gained by such actions, except for the enemies who lie in wait for opportunities to harm the Muslims, such as the kaafirs, hypocrites and followers of bid’ah and misguidance.

3 – This action offers support and help for the self-serving among the secularists, westernizers and other heretics who are well known for stirring up trouble among the daa’iyahs and telling lies against them, and inciting people against them in their writings and recordings. It is contrary to Islamic brotherhood for those who are too hasty to help their enemies against their brothers among the seekers of knowledge, daa’iyahs and others.

4 – This spreads corrupts ideas in the hearts and minds of the common folk and elite; it spreads and propagates lies and false rumours, and causes a great deal of backbiting and slander. It leaves the door wide open to evil people who persist in spreading doubts and stirring up fitnah, and who are keen to cause harm to the believers by accusing them of things that they did not do.

5 – Much of what is being said has no basis in reality; rather these are illusions which the Shaytaan has made attractive to them, through which he has tempted them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion; indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another…”[al-Hujuraat 49:12]

The believer should interpret what his Muslim brother says in the best possible way. One of the salaf said: Never think of something that is said by your brother as being bad when you still find room for a good interpretation.

6 – Whatever ijtihaad is produced by some scholars or seekers of knowledge, in areas where ijtihaad is permitted, the author of said ijtihaad cannot be blamed or rebuked for it, so long as he is qualified to engage in ijtihaad. If someone else has a different opinion, it is better for him to debate with him in a proper manner, striving to reach the truth via the shortest route and leaving no room for the insinuating whispers of the Shaytaan or for him to cause trouble among the believers. If that is not possible, and someone thinks that he has no choice but to explain what is wrong with his ijtihaad, then he should choose the best wording and the most subtle way of explaining, and not resort to attacking, slandering or going to extremes in criticizing him, which may cause others to reject the truth or to turn away from it. He should also avoid criticizing specific people, casting aspersions upon their intentions or saying unnecessary or irrelevant things about them. In such cases the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would say, “What is the matter with some people who say such and such…?”

The advice I offer to these brothers who have fallen into the sin of slandering the daa’iyahs is to repent to Allaah for the things that they have written or said that may have corrupted the hearts of some youth and filled them with hatred and grudges, and kept them from seeking beneficial knowledge or from calling people to Allaah by making them preoccupied with gossip and talking about this one and that one, and seeking out faults for which they could criticize people, and going to extremes in doing that.

I also advise them to offer expiation for the things that they have done by writing and other means that they think they should not have done, and to remove from people’s minds the wrong ideas they may have given them. They should focus on fruitful actions which will bring them closer to Allaah and will be beneficial to people, and they should beware of being too hasty to accuse people of kufr, fisq and bid’ah without any clear evidence or proof. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever says to his brother ‘O kaafir!’ one of them will be deserving of that description.” (Saheeh, agreed upon).

It is prescribed for those who call others to the truth and for seekers of knowledge, if they are uncertain about something said by a scholar or anyone else, to refer to the prominent scholars and to ask them, so that they can explain the facts of the matter to them and remove the confusion and doubt from their minds, in accordance with the words of Allaah in Soorat al-Nisaa’ (interpretatiuon of the meaning):

“When there comes to them some matter touching (public) safety or fear, they make it known (among the people); if only they had referred it to the Messenger or to those charged with authority among them, the proper investigators would have understood it from them (directly). Had it not been for the Grace and Mercy of Allaah upon you, you would have followed Shaytaan (Satan), save a few of you”[al-Nisaa’ 4:83]

And Allaah is the One Whom we ask to reform all the Muslims and to unite their hearts in taqwa and to bring the scholars of the Muslims and those who call to the truth together in doing that which pleases Him and will benefit His slaves. May He unite them in following guidance and protect them against all the causes of division and dissent; may He support the truth through them and humiliate falsehood through them, for He is the One Who is able to do that. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions, and those who follow his guidance until the Day of Resurrection.



Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him), vol. 7, p. 311.

Islam and Dating: by Imam Abdul Malik

Imam Abdul Malik talks about dating and the Islamic way from a common sense perspective. He touches on the issue of hipocracy within Muslim communities today and within Muslim families. Excellent lecture for youth and adults alike. Abdul Malik is a motivational speaker who focuses on the reality. Inshallah, I hope you will take the time to listen and learn! Enjoy, inshallah!

Romance, Love ... the spice of a Musleema's life!

"It's so easy, To think about Love, To Talk about Love, To wish for Love, But it's not always easy, To recognize Love, Even when we hold it.... In our hands."
--Jaka

"Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition."
--Alexander Smith

"Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love."
--Erich Fromm

You know, I have never been on a casual date with some sexually frustrated, doting infactuated young boy, never been taken out to dinner every night of the week by different charming fellows, never danced the night a way at a swanky, dim lighted club with every man with rhythmic feet, never obsessed over fairy tale dresses and gone out to any proms, balls with a handsome tuxedo clad guy. Alhamdulilah, I had to wait on every normal occurance in most American young womens' lives.

I've missed out on so much (so they say) and yet, I feel I've been given the opportunity to experience so much more in terms of romance and love. Waiting. Believing. Fearing. Being Me. Muslim. Alhamdulilah. Seven years ago a man came into my life. Though he never approached me. Never. Never called me. Never even sent me an email. Every form of communication came through my parents. Infact, my mother talked with this man every day, two and three times some days. They talked, discussed. Laughed and bonded. Because of me. We married and for the first time in my life I sat next to a man. Not just any man. A Muslim man. Over ten years older than I. Bearded. Attar Majmua oil perfumed thoub and izar. Tall. Shy. Eyes lowered, a bit afraid...my husband.

Seven years now I've been sharing my life with this man who values the same things that I value, who worships as I do and places the same importance on it... love, halal love and romance, is there is anything better in this dunya? Today (just today cause you know us women folk are fickle, lol), I know of nothing better.

Whoever says romance doesn't have any place in the lives of the Musleema, didn't know me. Then again Mr.Muslim says I'm different, it's the spice of this Musleema's life. Not ashamed to be thriving off of it. I received a text message at fajr, a reminder of prayer, of love, hope and other loving things... a necessary. I'm not alone in my needs. Just a girl. A Muslim girl. In love with love and romance too. Isn't this what every woman needs to varying degrees....love and romance?

Sisters get the love you need and desire. It's out there. It does exist. It really does. Romantic and loving Muslim men are out there. Don't deny yourself of something that you need to be happy in this life. Don't settle and then spend the rest of your life complaining and fighting with a man who can never be what you need. Don't try to change a grown man either. Let's work on ourselves first. Be honest and loving to yourself and inshallah those qualities will manifest in the those around you as well.

PM Blair Criticizes the niqab....

"It is a mark of separation and that is why it makes other people from outside the community feel uncomfortable.

"No-one wants to say that people don't have the right to do it. That is to take it too far. But I think we need to confront this issue about how we integrate people properly into our society."

Now the question must be asked: What is the "right" way for people to integrate into a society? Should all signs of one's previous life; names, religion, culture, language, and clothing be stripped away before one can be accepted in their new land?

Integration is defined as incorporating individuals of different groups as equals in a society. Yet PM Tony Blair's gross use of the word is more similar to the definition of forced assimilation much like what was done to the Native Americans and the West African slaves in the Americas.

Muslims: men and women, muhajabat (hijab wearers) and non muhajabat, munaqabah (niqab wearers) and non munaqabah, please pay attention to this debate heating up in the UK. No matter where you think you stand on the issue, pay attention. There is a bigger picture that we Muslims must be aware of and that is that these law makers (who have a hard enough time handling their own domestic affairs let alone the multitude of international issues that they poke their noses in) desire to dictate and reshape Islam to not only the world but to Muslims as well. And we know, by Allah, the pen has been lifted and the ink has dried.

The Noble Qur'an - Al-Ahzab 33:59

O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks all over their bodies.


Do not be fooled. This is not a debate about whether the niqab is mandatory or not. Put that idea away for a moment. Read the aya above in Arabic and then in English and it should at the very least be clear to everyone that Allahu Ta'ala has made the wearing of the niqab a permissible accessory for Muslim women, case closed - nothing left for anyone to say, especially non Muslim statesmen! How incredibly arrogant of these officials to discuss my God given right as if they have a voice of power after the Lord of all of mankind? Oh yes, they're uncomfortable was the reason! Really?

We Muslims are uncomfortable too Mr.Blair. We are uncomfortable every time we step out of our homes and scantily clad women parade infront of our families and youth. We are uncomfortable when we have to go out to public places and have our ears filled with profanity or our eyes fall upon pornographic bill board ads! But yet, there has never been any debate about those declining moral values in any western society. Why is that? Could it be that perhaps with the declining moral values the western world is not interested in the morals of individuals? This is a fact that anyone can easily substaniate with a quick goole. So why pick on those who wish to wear additinal clothing?

Odd? Extremely. Suspect? Of course. Unexpected? Never...

"And never will the Jews and Christians be pleased with you until you follow their religions." (2:120)

A Muslim woman who chooses to cover herself completely is human, just like the non woman who chooses to go outside in a trendy micro mini skirt, a sheer blouse and knee high boots. Both most likely have family, friends, good qualities as well as some negatives. They also may be employees or own businesses. They both could be contributing members of their respective communities? So what is problem? The problem is the Muslim woman appears too committed to her Creator and Islam, while the non Muslim woman may not have any religion at all.

Hadith - Bukhari 6:282

'Aisha (ra) used to say: "When (the Verse): 'They should draw their veils over their necks and bosoms,' was revealed, (the ladies) cut their waist sheets at the edges and covered their faces with the cut pieces."


It is the mere practice of Islam by Muslim women to a degree that in this day and age that is deemed by some westerners as unnecessary and a hinderance that is uncomfortable to Mr. Blair and his peers.

As a Muslim woman who has chosen to cover my face seeking only to gain a reward from Allah, my response to Mr.Blair and his peers' comfort level is: Tough! My niqab is as much a part of my life as your suit and tie are to you. I value it and the rememberance it gives to me. Make no mistake, the niqab nor the hijab has no power to change me or affect my ability to do or achieve anything. The niqab is an aditional show of respect and modesty by myself and other Muslim women. A respect and modesty that we are trying to attain through no other than our Lord.

Dictating what is comfortable and acceptable for a group of people is discrimination, not integration. It is arrogant and it is out of PM Blair's scope of power to do. The pen has been lifted and ink has dried.

“And Allah is predominant over His affairs, but most of the people do not know.” [Yusuf: 21]

Shaykh al Uthaymeen (rh) on women disliking to be involved polygyny

Question:

What is the ruling on a woman hating polygyny because of jealousy, since jealousy is something natural in women, and we read of the jealousy of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) concerning the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? So where do we stand? I have learned from reading some books that hating one of the rulings of sharee’ah is tantamount to kufr.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

A woman’s jealousy concerning her husband is something that is innate and natural, and you cannot tell a woman, “Do not feel jealous over your husband.” If a person dislikes something even though it is prescribed in sharee’ah, that does not adversely affect him, so long as he does not hate the fact that it is prescribed. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

Jihaad (holy fighting in Allaah’s Cause) is ordained for you (Muslims) though you dislike it, and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you…” [al-Baqarah 2:216]

The woman who feels jealous does not hate the fact that Allaah has allowed her husband to marry more than one woman, but she hates to have a co-wife. There is an obvious difference between the two matters. Hence I hope that the brother who has asked this question, and other people, will think carefully about matters and not rush to judgement; I hope that that they will recognize the subtle differences whereby rulings differ.



From the fatwas of Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen for al-Da’wah magazine

Ramadhan Mubarak!

"The month of Ramadan in which was revealed the Qur'an, a guidance for mankind and clear proofs for the guidance and the criterion (between right and wrong). So whoever of you sights (the crescent on the first night of) the month (of Ramadhan i.e. is present at his home), he must observe fasts that month, and whoever is ill or on a journey, the same number (of days which one did not observe fasts must be made up) from other days. Allah intends for you ease, and He does not want to make things difficult for you. (He wants that you) must complete the same number (of days), and that you must magnify Allah ( i.e. to say Takbir (Allahu Akbar; Allah is the Most Great) for having guided you so that you may be grateful to Him."

(Al-Baqarah 2:185)

The best of me

As I made my way through the Muslimah Bloghood this week, I came across some postings that have just bogged my mind and weighed upon it heavily. I don't know any way to aide those who need help except through beseeching Alla's help for them - so I pray Allah eases the affairs of the Muslims. I pray Allah gives victory to the oppressed. I pray Allah strenghtens the weak and humbles those who think they are strong. And I pray Allah raises the status of all Muslim women in this life and in the hereafter.

Whilst I was drawing up my conditions for living with my husband (in the case he should ever marry again) in his country, the things that I needed to convey poured out from me easily, bi'ithnillah. Subhannallah, I remember thinking how good it felt to say the things I needed and the things I did not, Alhamdulilah. Yes, my heart gets heavy at times when I think of the possibility of enforcing my contract on my husband and the outcome that would have on us. Though I know my heart, mind, soul and body would suffer in the end if I don't handle these issues now and look out for the best of me and my needs for living my own life in worship to Allah in the future. The future is that we all will meet Allah alone on a day when friendships in this life will not protect us. Writing a this new contract is about setting myself up in an situation where I can get the most benefit. It is about honesty. It is about survival. We all have basic necessities that we need in order to ultimately keep our duty to Allah. This has to come first. Wallahi, it has to. If you don't have peace of mind, how can you worship Allah- whether you are male or female. And as a female this is even more important, I think. Lots of times I have to remind my husband of the seriousness of the responsibility that Allah has placed on the woman. Yes, the men have been given more, but that doesn't negate or lessen the things that Allah has entrusted to us.The managing of the home, tending the husband's needs, cooking, keeping relations with her parents as well as any inlaws, and the rearing of her children-if she has any. I don't have children yet, inshallah, later. Though clearly anyone can see that with a schedule like this, the Muslim woman is someone who has to have a sturdy, durable character. She doesn't just have to be fit physically, but emotionally too. The responsibility is non stop. There are no breaks. There is always something to do for others. Yet, it is a must that you find time to nourish yourself.

What is nourishment? I think this is an important question. We are not all the same. Salat and siyam and dhikr we all can use, Alhamdulilah. And without a doubt these are the best nourishments anyone can have at their disposal. But is that it? Of course not. A nice, encouraging or even romantic conversation/night with one's spouse can do wonders for our mind and soul. Exercise of any kind helps, good friendships helps, loving family relationships help - anything that is halal (permissible) that helps to bring out the best of you, should be utilized to keep us healthy, inside and out. Why? Because our goal has to be to always be in state of mind where we can be pleasing to Allah.

Although, in the same way that things can nourish us, other things can be negatively draining on us. I was speaking with my husband on the phone late one night and he was telling me about how a brother we know is an only child. This man is almost 40, Mashallah and he is the most dutiful son I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, Alhamdulilah. His mother loves him crazy and has always been very upfront with him that he is all Allah has given her. She reared him to respect her much. A year ago this man got married. He got himself a young bride and she moved from her country to her husbands'. She depended mostly on her husband because she knew no one. The mother liked the wife but subhanallah, for some reason she just didn't know how to develop a healthy relationship. Instead of pushing her son to spend time with his new bride she demanded he spend more and more time away. This had recently caused the couple a lot of discord. The husband felt stuck. The bride felt neglected. The mother just needed her way. So during our talk my husband was telling how the young bride has since returned her own country and her husband was strucken with a lot grief, but had agreed to the separation. I was so heart broken to hear this, but when I thought of this young Muslimah deciding to return to own family rather than stay with the man she loves, I thought, WOW, Mashallah, what a strong Muslimah she is! I know many Muslim women double her age who after many, many years of varying degrees of treatment that wasn't nourishing for them choose to continue to stay time and time again. The love their husband throgh the thick, the thin, the ugly, the downright stupid and the outright abuse. Yes, wallahi, I know, it is their choice to make. I don't fault them for making a choice. Though, Allah has given us choice for a reason. Always this reason is for us to choose to be pleasing to Him, not anyone or anything else. This young Muslim of 20 years of age saw that her husband was unable to be give her what she needed in terms of the way she wanted to be loved and the time she needed for companionship (which are necessities in any marriage), so she took the high road and left. May be things could have gotten better with a lot of struggle, Allah know best, but we all know how mother in laws like that can be - they're going fight you all the way to the end. It's not beneficial to go through all of that. Now, her husband is looking for employment in his wife's country and has agreed that she can stay with her family until he moves there because that would be a better arrangement. Inshallah, Allah will grant him something soon.

See but that's what I mean about things being draining. Only we know what we can take. No one else can or should tell you how much you need to take to be drained before you had enough - UNLESS, you in a life or death situation. By all means, someone must intervene. Though ordinarily that isn't the case. I know some men with wicked short tempers, they can't take even a simple ..but from their children or spouse without losing their cool. And this type of behavior is diffinately not from the best of the Muslim men, but realistically, there are many Muslim men who exist in this world like that. And then their are those Muslim men who no matter what the wife or children says or does he isn't bothered or worried in the least, everything is its just Mashallah.

In between those two extremes is a middle that most people, not just Musims, fall into. Know your limits. Know what pleases you. Know what angers you. Know what calms you. Know you. Know the best of you. Nourish the best of you. Love the best of you. Encourage the best of you. And always stand up for the best of you. In return, I've found that if you can do that for you, you'll be better equiped to handle your obligations to your family, friends and most importantly your obligations to Allahuta'ala.

May Allahutala increase us all in good, strong character and make our speech and actions only for His sake.

Our duty is to Allaah

“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).

And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine”

[al-Talaaq 65:2-3]

Post Office adventure

I got up early this morning and went to the post office to apply for my passport and gosh, you would have thought I had seven ears , a tail and a purple face, lol. I guess I had worst than that. I had on a niqab and jilbab. Yup, the ninja suit, lol. Seeing how Americans are so in love with martial artists, you would think American munaqabaa would get more love, but we don't.

It's been almost 11 years now (mashallah) since I put on the niqab, so stares are not a problem for the most part. I hate enclosed buildings though. Especially the "gobbment" buildings. There's always some crazy caucasion who thinks it's their job to get in your buisness; "whaddya doing up so early?", "come here all the time?", "Live 'round these parts?" - I like to play the ignore game my husband taught me with those crazies. That is til they over test my patience; "YOU DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH?" (caps for shouting) lol and it just comes out, "sure, I speak english sir, but I'm not interested in talking to strangers," and the funniest thing is when folks get offended for offending you. Allahul Musta'3an.

So back to the story, I'm standing in line wearing my lovely black ninjabi suit and this Mexican lady brought in the about 15 chicken coups filled with live chickens! They were just a clucking away. For a second the chickens had stolen the spotlight from me as all the city folk marvelled at them. I wasn't impressed though since as a city girl I prefer my chickens dead, cleaned and prepared with flour and Lawry's Seasonings Salt. I keep looking forward. The chinese lady infront of me inches up and I follow suit. Every now and again she glances back towards the chickens. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then the chinese lady gets out of line (we'd been waiting for about 10 minutes by now) and starts for the door. On her way out she stops by the chickens and gets a look. Right as the Mexican lady is called up to the teller, the chinese lady snatches a chicken coup and makes a dash out of the door like she was olympic runner Marion Jones!!!! The postal employess get on the phone and start calling security, but it's too late chinese lady is G-O-N-E like the wind. I'm rolling so hard under my niqab by now I started fanning it some so I don't choke on my saliva, lol. Everyone in the Post Office is standing around looking dumbfounded and the Mexican lady is livid, rightfully so, her chickens were stolen. And the moral of the story? Had everyone not been preoccupied with the little Muslimah with her face covered, the crook wouldn't of gotten away with the chickens. End of the story.

When comes the help?

With all that is going on in this dunya, some times I wonder how I can sleep at night. As believers we believe and take it for granted. We harm one another so easily in our marriages, in business dealings, even within the masjid, we've forgotten what good adab is and can easily harm one another. It's a blessing to feel safe in a time when many Muslims; men, women and children are unsafe. There's so much oppression, disunity, dishonestly, poverty, corruption in the world, I just wonder when comes the help from Allah?

إِذَا جَاء نَصْرُ اللَّهِ وَالْفَتْحُ

When comes the Help of Allâh (to you, O Muhammad (Peace be upon him) against your enemies) and the conquest (of Makkah), (An-Nasr 110:1)


وَرَأَيْتَ النَّاسَ يَدْخُلُونَ فِي دِينِ اللَّهِ أَفْوَاجًا

And you see that the people enter Allâh's religion (Islâm) in crowds (An-Nasr 110:2)


فَسَبِّحْ بِحَمْدِ رَبِّكَ وَاسْتَغْفِرْهُ إِنَّهُ كَانَ تَوَّابًا


So glorify the Praises of your Lord, and ask for His Forgiveness. Verily, He is the One Who accepts the repentance and forgives. (An-Nasr 110:3)

Aya

Allah is the protector (ally) of those who believe, He takes them out of the darknesses into the light. As for the disbelievers, their allies are the taaghoot who take them out of the light and into the darknesses.

Surah al Baqarah