Romance, Love ... the spice of a Musleema's life!

"It's so easy, To think about Love, To Talk about Love, To wish for Love, But it's not always easy, To recognize Love, Even when we hold it.... In our hands."
--Jaka

"Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition."
--Alexander Smith

"Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love."
--Erich Fromm

You know, I have never been on a casual date with some sexually frustrated, doting infactuated young boy, never been taken out to dinner every night of the week by different charming fellows, never danced the night a way at a swanky, dim lighted club with every man with rhythmic feet, never obsessed over fairy tale dresses and gone out to any proms, balls with a handsome tuxedo clad guy. Alhamdulilah, I had to wait on every normal occurance in most American young womens' lives.

I've missed out on so much (so they say) and yet, I feel I've been given the opportunity to experience so much more in terms of romance and love. Waiting. Believing. Fearing. Being Me. Muslim. Alhamdulilah. Seven years ago a man came into my life. Though he never approached me. Never. Never called me. Never even sent me an email. Every form of communication came through my parents. Infact, my mother talked with this man every day, two and three times some days. They talked, discussed. Laughed and bonded. Because of me. We married and for the first time in my life I sat next to a man. Not just any man. A Muslim man. Over ten years older than I. Bearded. Attar Majmua oil perfumed thoub and izar. Tall. Shy. Eyes lowered, a bit afraid...my husband.

Seven years now I've been sharing my life with this man who values the same things that I value, who worships as I do and places the same importance on it... love, halal love and romance, is there is anything better in this dunya? Today (just today cause you know us women folk are fickle, lol), I know of nothing better.

Whoever says romance doesn't have any place in the lives of the Musleema, didn't know me. Then again Mr.Muslim says I'm different, it's the spice of this Musleema's life. Not ashamed to be thriving off of it. I received a text message at fajr, a reminder of prayer, of love, hope and other loving things... a necessary. I'm not alone in my needs. Just a girl. A Muslim girl. In love with love and romance too. Isn't this what every woman needs to varying degrees....love and romance?

Sisters get the love you need and desire. It's out there. It does exist. It really does. Romantic and loving Muslim men are out there. Don't deny yourself of something that you need to be happy in this life. Don't settle and then spend the rest of your life complaining and fighting with a man who can never be what you need. Don't try to change a grown man either. Let's work on ourselves first. Be honest and loving to yourself and inshallah those qualities will manifest in the those around you as well.

PM Blair Criticizes the niqab....

"It is a mark of separation and that is why it makes other people from outside the community feel uncomfortable.

"No-one wants to say that people don't have the right to do it. That is to take it too far. But I think we need to confront this issue about how we integrate people properly into our society."

Now the question must be asked: What is the "right" way for people to integrate into a society? Should all signs of one's previous life; names, religion, culture, language, and clothing be stripped away before one can be accepted in their new land?

Integration is defined as incorporating individuals of different groups as equals in a society. Yet PM Tony Blair's gross use of the word is more similar to the definition of forced assimilation much like what was done to the Native Americans and the West African slaves in the Americas.

Muslims: men and women, muhajabat (hijab wearers) and non muhajabat, munaqabah (niqab wearers) and non munaqabah, please pay attention to this debate heating up in the UK. No matter where you think you stand on the issue, pay attention. There is a bigger picture that we Muslims must be aware of and that is that these law makers (who have a hard enough time handling their own domestic affairs let alone the multitude of international issues that they poke their noses in) desire to dictate and reshape Islam to not only the world but to Muslims as well. And we know, by Allah, the pen has been lifted and the ink has dried.

The Noble Qur'an - Al-Ahzab 33:59

O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks all over their bodies.


Do not be fooled. This is not a debate about whether the niqab is mandatory or not. Put that idea away for a moment. Read the aya above in Arabic and then in English and it should at the very least be clear to everyone that Allahu Ta'ala has made the wearing of the niqab a permissible accessory for Muslim women, case closed - nothing left for anyone to say, especially non Muslim statesmen! How incredibly arrogant of these officials to discuss my God given right as if they have a voice of power after the Lord of all of mankind? Oh yes, they're uncomfortable was the reason! Really?

We Muslims are uncomfortable too Mr.Blair. We are uncomfortable every time we step out of our homes and scantily clad women parade infront of our families and youth. We are uncomfortable when we have to go out to public places and have our ears filled with profanity or our eyes fall upon pornographic bill board ads! But yet, there has never been any debate about those declining moral values in any western society. Why is that? Could it be that perhaps with the declining moral values the western world is not interested in the morals of individuals? This is a fact that anyone can easily substaniate with a quick goole. So why pick on those who wish to wear additinal clothing?

Odd? Extremely. Suspect? Of course. Unexpected? Never...

"And never will the Jews and Christians be pleased with you until you follow their religions." (2:120)

A Muslim woman who chooses to cover herself completely is human, just like the non woman who chooses to go outside in a trendy micro mini skirt, a sheer blouse and knee high boots. Both most likely have family, friends, good qualities as well as some negatives. They also may be employees or own businesses. They both could be contributing members of their respective communities? So what is problem? The problem is the Muslim woman appears too committed to her Creator and Islam, while the non Muslim woman may not have any religion at all.

Hadith - Bukhari 6:282

'Aisha (ra) used to say: "When (the Verse): 'They should draw their veils over their necks and bosoms,' was revealed, (the ladies) cut their waist sheets at the edges and covered their faces with the cut pieces."


It is the mere practice of Islam by Muslim women to a degree that in this day and age that is deemed by some westerners as unnecessary and a hinderance that is uncomfortable to Mr. Blair and his peers.

As a Muslim woman who has chosen to cover my face seeking only to gain a reward from Allah, my response to Mr.Blair and his peers' comfort level is: Tough! My niqab is as much a part of my life as your suit and tie are to you. I value it and the rememberance it gives to me. Make no mistake, the niqab nor the hijab has no power to change me or affect my ability to do or achieve anything. The niqab is an aditional show of respect and modesty by myself and other Muslim women. A respect and modesty that we are trying to attain through no other than our Lord.

Dictating what is comfortable and acceptable for a group of people is discrimination, not integration. It is arrogant and it is out of PM Blair's scope of power to do. The pen has been lifted and ink has dried.

“And Allah is predominant over His affairs, but most of the people do not know.” [Yusuf: 21]

Shaykh al Uthaymeen (rh) on women disliking to be involved polygyny

Question:

What is the ruling on a woman hating polygyny because of jealousy, since jealousy is something natural in women, and we read of the jealousy of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) concerning the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? So where do we stand? I have learned from reading some books that hating one of the rulings of sharee’ah is tantamount to kufr.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

A woman’s jealousy concerning her husband is something that is innate and natural, and you cannot tell a woman, “Do not feel jealous over your husband.” If a person dislikes something even though it is prescribed in sharee’ah, that does not adversely affect him, so long as he does not hate the fact that it is prescribed. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

Jihaad (holy fighting in Allaah’s Cause) is ordained for you (Muslims) though you dislike it, and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you…” [al-Baqarah 2:216]

The woman who feels jealous does not hate the fact that Allaah has allowed her husband to marry more than one woman, but she hates to have a co-wife. There is an obvious difference between the two matters. Hence I hope that the brother who has asked this question, and other people, will think carefully about matters and not rush to judgement; I hope that that they will recognize the subtle differences whereby rulings differ.



From the fatwas of Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen for al-Da’wah magazine